Saturday, September 4, 2010

The Acid Bath

Back in the year 2001 or so, Jack and I flew up to WA so he could meet my dad's side of the family. My dear Uncle Jerry had said that they were going to put Jack through "the acid bath." Of course, I worried so much that I called Jerry to find out what this was about. What I learned was that back when my dad was alive, they would put my dad's girlfriends through this. My dad had so many girlfriends and was married enough times that they figured that if he brought the same person to a family gathering more than once, then he was going to marry her. (Not too far from the truth, either.) This was basically harmless family fun, but they wanted to meet the guy I was so crazy about. When my dad died in 1990, Jerry decided that since I didn't have a father anymore that he'd do what he could to fill that role, and this was part of it.

When we went to Jerry's it was like a family reunion. All the local family was there, and it was great to see everyone. While we're all hanging out in Jerry's lovely back yard, Jerry starts asking all kinds of questions of Jack like about his bank account and so forth. Jack, of course, hesitated on some of the answers. Finally, Jerry came right out and asked Jack, "So exactly what are your intentions toward my neice?" To which Jack replied, "Jerry, I'm going to marry her and knock her up. In that order." End of ribbing. He was accepted into the family. And it wasn't as bad as I was afraid it was going to be.
L to R: my mom, Jack holding Gabby, me, Sarah, Uncle Jerry, my brother Ken (deceased) and his s.o. Sarah. This is a photo from Gabby's "first year" photo album


  1. In Jack's memory - He and I worked at the same place - Mountain Network Solutions - back in 1991. One day Jack found a bag of around 100 plastic eyes on spring stalks with a suction cup at the far end. You could stick one of these things to a smooth hard surface and have an eye staring at you all day long. Well, Jack had this bag of eyes and some free time one weekend, so he went all around the building at work sticking them to things. I came in to work Monday morning to find a single eye staring at me from the monitor at my desk. I asked my office mates what that was about, they just muttered, "Jack Darkhand," and shook their heads. These things were ALL over the building. There was one stuck IN the urinal in the mens' room, and every time you flushed at got a bath. It stayed there for DAYS!

    I laugh about that one to this day.

    There will only ever be one Jack Darkhand. I miss him dearly.

  2. Oh, that's funny. And SO Jack!