Friday, May 1, 2009

Jack as husband

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. Between going to CA by car with the girls for the Santa Cruz memorial followed by a 3-day trip to Spokane, it's been kind of busy. I finally have a chance to catch my breath.

While the girls and I were driving home from dinner at a friend's house this evening, I found myself thinking about the kind of husband Jack was, and the kind of marriage we had. My friends and I had been talking about it, so it got me to thinking. I'm not talking about many of the sparkly gifts he gave me, and there were quite a few of those. I'm talking about how considerate and generous he was. And how bonded we were.

We had the kind of relationship where we finished each other's sentences. We would find ourselves, out of the blue, echoing the other's thought at the time. When this happened, it was usually followed by the person thinking the thought, "Stop that!" It happened a lot. Our wedding rings are a Celtic braid pattern using 2 strands. It felt like we were that intertwined. One friend described it early on as "the bluebirds of happiness flying over your heads" and it was still there last summer when he last saw us together. Others have referred to our romance as "legendary." We were "The Jack & Linda Show!" We were a unit. We loved each other deeply.

Some nights, while Jack worked on his astrology for the next day (he still did it but wasn't publishing it anymore), I'd sometimes watch TV in the other room. He knows I love medical shows. He couldn't bear to watch them, no matter how fake. If ER was on, he was outta there! He'd come to the bedroom door where I was watching the TV, refer to the "guts and gristle" when the show came on followed by "Gotta go!" in that almost radio announcer voice he had. Earlier this year, he asked me what I wanted for my birthday. One of the things I asked for was either the ER series or House, MD on DVD, thinking it would be nice to have. Wouldn't you know, on my birthday, he gave me all 4 seasons of House on DVD. I was astonished. He was so generous that he gave me something that he knew that I would spend hours watching even once but that he would have no interest in whatsoever. Now THAT'S love. And classic Jack.

Last Dec., we had our first romantic getaway since Sarah was born. He took me to a lovely B&B in Gig Harbor where we had a lovely, romantic time. As soon as we pulled out of the driveway, we were "us" again. We weren't parents of 2 beautiful little girls. We were a happily in love couple getting away for a fun time. It was one of the best and most beautiful week-ends I'd had in a long time. Leave it to Jack to create an experience that was beautiful and romantic.

Jack was also incredibly supportive of my doing the RN refresher course. The evening before he died, he'd asked me if it was going to be a "study night." While it was a Saturday, I hadn't looked at the material all week, so I said it would be. That was fine with him. While I sat on the couch and read my textbook, he worked on his computer right behind me. Our last exchange went something like this:
Jack: "It's shower time for Jack"
Me: "OK. Saturday Night Live starts in 25 minutes."
Jack: "Cool. See you then."
Me: "Oh, honey, one more thing."
Jack: "What's that?"
Me: "Thank you for being so supportive around my studying."
Jack: "It's OK. It's important."

With that last exchange, he went to take his shower. The next time I saw him, he was gone. I'm grateful that our last exchange was so supportive. I just wish that we'd had more of them.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. What an amazing last exchange.

    SO like Jack & the way he loved you...